


Then and Now

by riventhorn



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, natsume needs all the hugs, natsume's awful childhood, the fujiwaras are the best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 13:56:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10388190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riventhorn/pseuds/riventhorn
Summary: Things are different now that Natsume lives with Touko and Shigeru.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This has been done before, but I'm such a h/c addict that I needed more of Natsume being hurt and the Fujiwaras making things better. The parts with Touko and Shigeru take place pre-Nyanko-sensei's arrival.

**_Then_**    
Akiyama Misao is a cousin of Takashi's father. Misao-san has long hair that she pins back, and her husband Ryou-san works at a software company. They have two boys, Isamu and Jirou, who are both older than Takashi.    
   
His few boxes, which are getting tattered from being moved so many times, are put in a small room off the hallway. Isamu's racing bike takes up one corner, and the closet is half-full of the family's winter coats.    
   
Misao-san works too, and Isamu and Jirou are often busy in the evenings with club activities or spending time with their friends. Misao and Ryou usually return late, carrying conbini-store dinners that they heat in the microwave.    
   
The second night he is there, Takashi sits in his room, hungry but too nervous to look in the refrigerator for a snack. When Misao-san gets home, he goes to the kitchen, hovering in the doorway.    
   
"Oh, Takashi," she says, flustered, and lays down her chopsticks. After a moment, she goes to the refrigerator and takes out some leftover rice. She reheats it for him and gives him a Ramune soda too. "I'll make something tomorrow, but I have some work I need to finish tonight," she adds.   
   
She forgets the next day, though. There is still some rice, and Takashi drags over a stool, standing on it to try and reach into the cabinet to get a bowl. He's stretching up on his toes when the yokai springs out of the cabinet. Takashi cries out, startled, and loses his grip on the bowls, which crash down onto the floor.    
   
Misao-san is angry about it and tells him not to play with things in the kitchen because they aren't toys. She sends him to his room. Takashi curls up under his blanket, reminding himself that he'll be able to eat lunch at school tomorrow.    
   
On the weekends, Isamu and Jirou pester Ryou-san for money to eat out for lunch, which he gives to them. Misao-san is always away visiting her mother, and Ryou-san meets up with friends from work.    
   
Takashi sits in his room, listening to the quiet house and trying to concentrate on his homework. His stomach cramps with hunger, but he can never bring himself to ask Ryou-san for money for lunch too. It isn't so terrible here, and maybe if he doesn't bother anyone, they won't make him leave.    
   
The weekends are always very long, but at last Sunday night comes, the only time when all the Akiyamas are there, and Misao-san cooks supper.    
   
Takashi spends six months with the Akiyamas. Then a yokai comes. It has long claws and an evil grin. It watches Takashi from its perch on top of the fence. Takashi tries to ignore it, but it knows he can see it. Finally one day he goes over and tells it to leave, his voice shaking with anger and fear. Its grin widens. It stretches out one impossibly long arm and picks up a baseball lying forgotten in the grass. It throws it, and Takashi ducks, but there's a cry behind him. Jirou is kneeling there, holding his head. Takashi looks up, and Misao-san is standing in the doorway, looking horrified.    
   
"Takashi, how could you?" she demands.    
   
A week later, they tell him that he's going to stay with someone else.    
   
**_Now_**    
   
The first night that Takashi spends with the Fujiwaras, Touko-san cooks an extravagant meal. Takashi eats everything on his plate, slumping a bit in his chair because it still hurts to sit up straight.    
   
"Have some more, Takashi-kun," Touko-san urges.    
   
"No, thank you," Takashi says. "I'm full."    
   
Touko frowns but doesn't press him.    
   
At every meal, though, Touko-san asks if he wants more. At last, Takashi nods and says yes. Touko beams, and Shigeru smiles approvingly.    
   
When he's well enough to go to school, Touko makes him a bento. There have been several yokai pestering him at school, but Takashi manages to find an out-of-the-way corner during lunch where no yokai—or people—will find him. He unwraps his bento, expecting to see the rice and—maybe—some fish, that had filled the bentos at his previous home.   
   
But the container is packed full of food, an explosion of colors. Vegetables, fruit, meat, rice. Touko-san even put fillings in the onigiri.    
   
The greens and whites and pinks blur together. Takashi blinks, scrubbing at his eyes with one hand. He gets out his chopsticks, hardly knowing what to choose first.    
   
"You ate everything!" Touko-san says, delighted, when he gets home.    
   
"It was very good," Takashi mumbles, twisting his hands in the strap of his bag.    
   
"We need to feed you up, Takashi-kun. You're too thin. Shigeru-san said we should have meat for dinner, in fact. I think it's the first time I've gotten him to decide on a meal," she adds, laughing a little.   
   
Takashi doesn't know what to say, overwhelmed at having so much attention paid to his well-being. He shuffles his feet, waiting until Touko-san goes back to the kitchen before slipping upstairs to the quiet of his room   
   
   
**_Then_**    
   
"There's a monster in the corner," Takashi says, tugging on Asuka-san's sleeve. "It's going to hurt me!"   
   
"Takashi-kun, there's nothing there," she says, detaching his fingers.    
   
"There is! There is!" It has only one eye and dark, bristly fur covers its body.    
   
Asuka goes and stands in the corner. "See, Takashi? There's nothing here."   
   
"But—"   
   
"This is the second time today with this nonsense," Asuka-san says, folding her arms. "I'm busy, Takashi-kun. Now go play in your room. Stop bothering me."    
   
Why will no one listen to him? Why don't they believe him? Takashi looks at Asuka-san one more time. His shoulders wilt. He edges toward the wall. Hugging it, staying as far away from the monster as he can get, he walks slowly before sprinting past it through the doorway. He hears Asuka-san sigh loudly behind him.    
   
His class draws pictures at school the next day. Takashi thinks that his turned out very well. There is a boat, and a purple whale, and a cat sitting on an island. He puts it in his bag and brings it home.    
   
Asuka-san is sitting at her desk, typing. Takashi reaches in his bag, then stops. He remembers what Asuka-san said yesterday. _Stop bothering me._ He wants to show Asuka-san his picture, but will that count as bothering her? What if another monster appears tonight? If he doesn't interrupt her now, maybe then it will be all right to ask for help later. Perhaps this time she will believe him and do something to make the monster go away.    
   
Asuka's daughter, Hideki, shoulders past Takashi. "Look, mother. I got a perfect score on my spelling test today!" She holds out the piece of paper.    
   
"That's so wonderful, Hideki-kun," Asuka says, smiling. "You studied very hard, didn't you?"    
   
Hideki nods, and Asuka laughs, giving her a hug.    
   
Takashi stuffs his picture back in his bag and goes outside, sitting on the porch and staring into the distance.    
   
**_Now_**    
   
"How did your math test go, Takashi-kun?" Shigeru asks during dinner.    
   
"That's right," Touko says. "You were studying all evening on Monday."    
   
"I did okay," Takashi says slowly, amazed that Shigeru had remembered he even had a test. He tells them his score.    
   
They both smile. "Well done, Takashi-kun," Shigeru says. He laughs. "I was always the worst at math."    
   
"I don't mind it." He hesitates, then adds, "I like history better, and... and art."    
   
"Touko enjoys painting watercolors," Shigeru says.   
   
"Don't bring it up, Shigeru," Touko chides, blushing. "I'm not very good, you know."    
   
"I love your paintings," Shigeru tells her, and she gives him a smile before turning to Takashi.    
   
"You're welcome to use the paints if you want, Takashi-kun."   
   
"Thank you," he mumbles, poking at his rice. There's an odd tightness in his chest. He realizes he wants to put more effort into studying, that he wants to practice painting until he can make beautiful pictures, that he wants to do anything that will make Shigeru and Touko smile proudly at him like that again.    
   
   
**_Then ****_**  
   
Takashi is still picking glass out of his hair when Kimiko-san comes to fetch him. Her lips are pressed together, and her shoes snap against the pavement as they walk back to the house.    
   
"The school is going to make us pay for that window, you know," she tells him. "Do you think Susumu and I have that kind of money?"   
   
Takashi does not want to go into the house when they arrive, but Kimiko pushes him over the doorstep and shuts the door behind her.    
   
Susumu-san is sitting on the couch. There are already several empty beer cans stacked on the floor. When he sees them, he puts out his cigarette and heaves himself to his feet.    
   
"You've got some nerve, kid," he says. He cuffs Takashi around the head. "Didn't I tell you what would happen after the last time? Huh?"    
   
Another blow comes. Takashi wants to run, but he holds still. The first time this happened, he ran, but Susumu caught him by the arm, fingers bruising in their strength and shoved him into the wall. If Takashi doesn't run, it is only a few slaps, like this.    
   
**_Now_**    
   
The mirror in the bathroom shatters, the yokai cackling as it flies away.    
   
Takashi is distantly aware that he is trembling as he kneels down to pick up the glass. If he can only clean it up before Touko or Shigeru get home. But he will still have to tell them. He cannot hide what has happened.    
   
In his haste, he slices his hand on one of the shards. He presses some paper towels to the cut, heart thudding.    
   
"Takashi-kun? Oh, dear, what happened?"    
   
It is Touko-san. Takashi stays huddled on the floor. "It was an accident," he says at last. "It—it was. It was."   
   
"Never mind the mirror," Touko-san says, sounding distressed. "What were you doing picking up the glass, Takashi-kun? Did you cut yourself? Let me see."    
   
Touko-san clucks over the wound, cleaning it and putting on a bandage. They sweep up the glass together with a broom and dustpan, and Touko runs the vacuum over the floor. Then Touko ushers him down to the kitchen. Takashi sets the table before sitting down while Touko starts cooking supper. His mouth is dry, and the cut on his hand throbs in time with the beats of his heart.    
   
When the door opens, and Shigeru-san calls out a greeting, all of Takashi's muscles tense. He doesn't really think that Shigeru would hit him. And yet...   
   
Shigeru comes into the kitchen. Touko-san greets him. She tells him about Takashi's hand and the broken mirror.    
   
"Are you all right, Takashi-kun?" Shigeru asks, and he reaches out to put a hand on Takashi's shoulder.   
   
Takashi flinches away.   
   
He doesn't mean to, but he can't help it or stop it.    
   
Shigeru hesitates for the briefest second and then withdraws his hand. "We don't mind about the mirror, Takashi-kun," he says gently.    
   
Takashi swallows and nods, staring down into his lap. He can feel both of them looking at him.    
   
Then Shigeru moves away and begins telling Touko about his day. They talk quietly and easily together. Touko's pans clatter on the stove. Water hisses out of the faucet as Shigeru washes his hands.    
   
The tension eases out of Takashi. He is in the warm kitchen, not banished to a cold room. Shigeru and Touko-san are here. They do not mind if he is quiet, if he only sits here, feeling tired after all that has happened.   
   
At dinner, he manages a smile, and says thank you to Touko for taking care of his hand. They both smile back at him, and Shigeru asks if he'd like to go fishing that weekend. Takashi blinks and then says yes, feeling suddenly shy and flushing a little with happiness.    
   
   
**_Then_**    
   
Takashi's throat hurts, and his head aches. It's hard to breathe through his stuffy nose.    
   
"Saki-san," he says at breakfast. "I think I'm sick."   
   
" _Again_ , Takashi-kun?" she says with a sigh. She puts a hand on his forehead. The baby starts crying in the other room. Saki-san heaves another sigh. "I guess I'll have to call the school. You'd better go back to bed."   
   
Takashi goes and lies down. His throat hurts so much, like he swallowed sandpaper. He can hear Saki-san trying to get the baby to stop crying.    
   
"I have to take Souma to preschool, Takashi-kun!" she calls out.    
   
"Okay," he says. He shifts, trying to get comfortable, too hot, then too cold.    
   
When Saki-san gets back she gives him some medicine and water. She stacks some pudding cups by his bed, along with a spoon. There's a thump and a loud wail from the living room. Looking harried, Saki-san rushes out to see what trouble the baby has gotten into now.    
   
Takashi eats his pudding and tries to sleep. He wakes up much later in the day, feeling disoriented for a few seconds. His throat still hurts, and he's thirsty. Maybe there is some juice in the kitchen.    
   
He's out in the hallway when he hears Saki-san talking in a soft voice on the phone.    
   
"It's too much, Nobu," she says. "He's sick all the time—or getting hurt one way or another. With the baby and Souma—I'm at my wits end. We were going to wait until Ume is at least four before having any more children, and then Takashi gets dumped on us by that aunt of yours. It's not fair that we have to take him. What about that one cousin—they don't have any children do they? Why can't they take him?"    
   
Takashi doesn't want to hear anymore. He stumbles back to bed. He won't cry. He won't. There's no point in crying. Why did he have to get sick again? He didn't mean to. He couldn't help it. Saki-san tries to be nice and look after him, but of course she's busy. A baby takes a lot of looking after. Of course her own children should come before Takashi. He knows that. He can't expect her to love him like she does Souma and Ume.    
   
He still has a lingering cough when Saki-san packs up his boxes and drives him across town to his new family.    
   
**_Now_**    
   
A yokai has been hovering near him for the past week. It doesn't do or say anything, just floats along beside him, a pale grey shadow with one hand on his shoulder. If it has eyes or a mouth, Takashi can't discern them. When he tries to push it away, his hand passes through it, the yokai's body swirling like smoke and then coalescing once more.    
   
He starts to feel exhausted, even after a full night's sleep. His head aches. One morning he wakes up and the yokai is gone, but he feels chilled and his forehead is hot.    
   
"You look flushed, Takashi-kun," Touko-san says to him at breakfast.    
   
"I'm not sick. I can go to school," he says quickly.    
   
Touko puts her hand on his forehead, her palm cool against his overheated skin. "You're burning up, and you look tired. I really think you should stay home."    
   
"I can manage," he says, but his voice lacks conviction.    
   
"Why don't you go back to bed and try to sleep some more," Touko tells him, and Takashi wavers and then nods, surrendering.    
   
He wakes up later to find Touko kneeling next to him and putting a cool compress on his forehead. She smiles, brushing back his hair. "Do you feel up to eating a little something, Takashi-kun?"   
   
He nods and lets her help him into a sitting position, her warm, gentle hands making him weak, making him lean into her, her sweater soft against his cheek.    
   
She stays with him while he eats, while he drinks a cup of tea and takes some medicine.    
   
"Don't worry if you don't feel good enough to get up for dinner," she says as she tucks the blanket around him again. "I'll bring up a tray later."   
   
Takashi follows her movements as she gathers the dishes. "Thank you, Touko-san."    
   
She touches his face again. "Just rest, Takashi-kun."    
   
He wakes up again in the early evening, feeling better. He has to use the bathroom and decides to go down to the kitchen while he's up. There's no sense in making Touko-san come all the way to his room when he can climb up and down the stairs himself.    
   
In the hallway outside the kitchen, he hears Shigeru and Touko talking quietly together. He catches Shigeru saying his name and freezes.    
   
How many times has this happened to him? How many times has he overheard a conversation like this?    
   
_\--better if he leaves._  
   
_\--can't take care of him._    
   
_\--such a difficult child._    
   
Takashi squeezes his eyes shut, heart pounding so hard that he can't hear. He sinks to his knees, clapping one hand over his mouth.    
   
Not again. Please.    
   
Slowly sounds filter through his panic.    
   
"--can't believe Takashi-kun has only been here a month," Shigeru is saying. "It feels so natural to have him around the house."    
   
"I feel the same," Touko replies. "As though he should have always been here. I wish.... Oh, but I'm so glad—so glad he's here now."   
   
"Yes." Takashi can hear the smile in Shigeru's voice.    
   
He manages to get back on his feet, the relief so fierce it makes him dizzy. He puts a hand to his wet cheeks and then stumbles to his room, not wanting to let them know he's heard or to have to explain why he's crying. Curling under his blanket, he wraps his arms around his knees, as though he could cradle those words they said close to his body.    
   
Touko-san comes in a bit later, turning on the lamp. "How are you doing, Takashi-kun?" she asks.    
   
Takashi uncurls, sitting up so he can face her. "I'm better," he says.    
   
"Good." Touko-san kneels by his bed. "I worry about you getting sick so often. Maybe we should go see a doctor."   
   
"No." Slowly, he reaches out to hold her hand. "I think... I think I'll be better now. Now that I'm with you."    
   
She smiles, squeezing his fingers. "Well, we'll see how you're doing tomorrow."    
   
Tomorrow. When he will still be here. In this house with Touko and Shigeru.    
   
_My—_ Takashi hesitates, and then allows himself to think the words. _My home._


End file.
